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The Catholic School of St Gregory The Great Believe and Achieve

16 Days of Action

Domestic Abuse

For 2020, Gloucestershire will be raising awareness of domestic abuse amongst young people and child to parent violence.

 

16 days of action will raise awareness of Domestic Abuse in general and encourage people to come forward and seek support. To support this, the police engagement vehicles will station themselves in each district throughout the 16 days to enable people to seek advice face to face. 

 

What is a healthy relationship?

It can sometimes be hard to understand what is healthy and unhealthy in relationships. CLICK HERE to view the video to explore some of the behaviours we see in the beginnings of unhealthy relationships.  If something doesn’t feel right in those early days you can make use of the Domestic violence disclosure scheme.  CLICK HERE for more information.

 

Recognising harm

Recognising harm in our relationships can be difficult, the behaviours creep in and sometimes it can be difficult.   With support from agencies we can explore what is healthy and unhealthy and what feels safe.
CLICK HERE to view this video which highlights some common themes we see in those relationship early days.  If something does not feel right then seek support to help work out healthy relationship behaviours and set those boundaries that will keep you safe. 

 

Child to parent Violence.
Child on Parent Violence (CPV) or Adolescent to Parent Violence and Abuse (APVA) is any behaviour used by a young person to control, dominate or coerce parents.  It is intended to threaten and intimidate and puts family safety at risk.  Whilst it is normal for adolescents to demonstrate healthy anger, conflict and frustration drawing their transition from childhood to adulthood, anger should not be confused with violence. Violence is about a range of behaviours including non-physical acts aimed at achieving ongoing control over another person by instilling fear. 
 

 

Oxford university have found that during lockdown child to parent violence has increased with those parents who already experience violence seeing a 70% increase since March.  If you are worried about your child’s violent behaviour in the home, help is available. 

 

Domestic Abuse

Since Lockdown we have seen increase in incidences of Domestic abuse, if you are worried about you or a friend seek support: The NHS have put together a helpful fact page and video HERE.

 

How to help a friend who is experiencing domestic abuse?

  • Listen – support your friend to understand they are not alone and you are going to support them. . 
  • Acknowledge that it takes strength to trust someone enough to talk to them about experiencing abuse. 
  • Acknowledge that they are in a frightening and very difficult situation. 
  • Support them to make their own decisions, be aware what you feel is the right thing might not feel safe for them.  
  • Don’t tell them what to do.
  • Ask if they need support for any physical health needs around the abuse. 
  • Support them to contact the police if they wish to do so. 
  • Plan safe strategies for leaving an abusive relationship. 
  • Let them create their own boundaries of what they think is safe and what is not safe, help them to think of safe words to use in communication that signals they need help from you. 
  • Offer your friend the use of your address and/or telephone number to leave information and messages, look after an emergency bag for them should they wish. 
  • Look after yourself while you are supporting someone through such a difficult and emotional time. Ensure that you do not put yourself into a dangerous situation; for example, do not offer to talk to the abuser about your friend or let yourself be seen by the abuser as a threat to their relationship

 

Studies suggest 25% of young girls and 18% of young men have experienced physical harm in their relationships. If you want support in speaking to your children about relationships, CLICK HERE.

Local Children’s and Family centres are on hand to help you and your families navigate relationships. Please access the Glos Families Directory website for further information and support as well as how to self refer for Family Support.


Support agencies available:

 

Technological Abuse
With technological abuse on the rise, devices like smart doorbells, smart electronics, smart speakers and smartphones can all be used to aid a perpetrator to abuse. If you leave an unsafe situation be sure to disable your location services and seek support from your phone provider around stalking apps. Using two factor authentication can support your safety on these devices.


Technology can also serve to keep you safe, there are various apps available to support you. Speak to the family support team for further information. 


Role of professionals
There are a range of professional services available to help you.
Services can support you to understand domestic abuse, its impacts on the family, support behaviour change, support boundary setting.
Services can support you finding refuge spaces, securing your home, securing your tech.
 
We are available to help you safety plan and support your children to understand and make sense of their experiences.
 
Alongside the children and family centres and schools, we work with to help support you when you need us.

 

National helpline advice is also available from:

 
 

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